80 | bonton i nepisana pravila: zamuštuluk se išlo uprikladnoj odeći, bezremećenjaporodičnihnavika, posebnonoću; bez euforije ako je porodica u žalosti; bez odlaska na njivu gde se završavao neki neodložan i važan posao. Oni koji su darivali imali su problemprilikom izbora poklona, a počesto i dilemu: da li poklon uručiti odmah ili kasnije muštulugdžiju darivati vrednijimpoklonom. Stara mudrost kaže da darivanje više koristi onome koji dajenegoonome koji prima. Kod našeg naroda, svaki muštuluk je bio velik onoliko koliko jevelikosrce i dubokdžep, ali uoskudici i nemaštini teško je naći pravu meru i ostati dostojanstven i ponosan. Bilo bi previše navoditi šta se sve poklanjalo. U zavisnostiodimovinskogstanja, vrednostmuštuluka jevarirala odobičnihvunenihčarapadoniski dukata, parcelezemlje, šume i slično. Iako u teskobi, devojke su uvek za radosnu poruku od svog dragana darivale više nego što su imale i mogle. Decu i omladinu najteže je bilo darivati. Ipak, za rođenje deteta dobijali su vredne stvari, najčešće dukate. Postoje primeri da su imućnije porodice darivale decu siromašnih porodica vrednim poklonima i tako preko muštuluka pomagale svojim komšijama i rođacima. O tome koliko jenašnarodcenio i poštovaomuštulukgovori činjenica da se sve moglo zaboraviti, prećutati, ali obećani dar za muštuluk bila je svetinja koja se nije smela ignorisati. Muštuluk je primer nemoći sadašnjosti da sačuva nasleđene darove prošlosti. Tradicionalni model života je izmenjen i zamenjen drugim sadržajima. Standard života i tehnološka revolucija menjaju njegovu fizionomiju i pravila. I ono malo koliko je prisutan u svakodnevici današnjih ljudi, pretvara se u svoju negaciju, sa banalnomkonotacijom, dok se u nekim našim selima muštuluk održava onoliko koliko se oseća potreba za njim. Umodernoj varijanti,muštuluksenaseliona raznimdruštvenimmrežama; na lokalnim elektronskimmedijima muštuluk se traži putem pozdrava i čestitiki; lekari koji porađaju žene uzimaju muštuluk od njihovih muževa; studentske službe, pa i sami profesori, informišu roditelje studenata o rezultatima na ispitima; očevima novorođene dece cepa se košulja; za muštuluk se brije glava... of wedding guests at the house of a bride to be, for the return and arrival of newlyweds. In someTamanavian villages, horse races betweenmuštuluk givers are still organised even today. Vuk Karadžić noted: Before the wedding guests, the muštuluk givers come for muštuluk, and they re from several ri es and say that the guests are comingandbringing thegirl.Themuštulukgiver shouldbegivenmuštuluk: a pretty scarf or a shirt. In rarer cases,muštulukcanhavea strongdramaticdimension, as it indicates strong excitement and a quaking of the soul. In dealingwithemotions knownonly toamother’sheart, therehavebeen tragicconsequences:without thecapacitytoaccept the full amount of extreme emotion, sudden change and stress, hearts have been known to fail. This is recorded in the epic folk song “The Enslavement of Janković Stojan”, and other works of poetry and prose. In each village, with identical character and mentality, where everyone iswell-acquainted, thiswas consideredand led toavoidanceof taking muštuluk from parents subjected to stressful emotions. So, muštuluk also had a hidden tragedy, a contrast of emotions, from joy to extreme sadness. Withmuštuluk, where the value of a gift was ameasure of joy, thereisnobargainingoneitherside, thereisnodiscussionandagreement about giving. No compromise ismade here. Ignoringmuštuluk is amajor disgrace and humiliation, and our peoplewould never allowthemselves toexperience that, nor to forgive it.This custom haditsownetiquetteandunwrittenrules: peoplewent formuštuluk inappropriate clothes, without breaking familyhabits, especially at night; without euphoria if a family is inmourning; without heading to the eldwhere some urgent and important jobwas completed. Those who gave gifts had a problem when choosing the present, and often a dilemma: whether the gift should be handed over immediately, or whether the muštuluk giver should be given a more valuable gift later. Old wisdom says that giving is more bene cial to the giver than the receiver. In our nation, every muštuluk was as big as the size of the heart and as deep as the pocket, but in times of scarcity and need, it is di cult to nd the right measure and to remain digni ed and proud of oneself. It would be too much to list everything that was gifted. Dependingonpropertyownership, thevalueofmuštuluk varied from ordinary woollen socks to low-valued ducats, plots of land or forest etc. Despite being in di culties, girls always gave more than they had and could a ord for a joyful message from their beloved. It was the toughest for children and youngsters to give. However, for the birth of a child they received valuable gifts, most often ducats.There are examples ofwealthier families givingvaluablegifts to children frompoor families, thushelping their neighbours and relatives throughmuštuluk. Testifying to howmuch our people valued and respectedmuštuluk is the fact that everythingcouldbe forgotten and left in silence, but a promised gift for muštuluk was sacred and dare not be ignored. Muštuluk is an example of the powerlessness of the present to preserve the inherited gifts of the past. The traditional model of life has changed and been replacedwith other contents. The standard of life and the technological revolution change its physiognomy and rules. And the little that is present in the everyday lives of people today is turned intonegation, withbanal connotations, while in some of our villagesmuštuluk ismaintained to the extent towhich a need for it is felt. In the modern variant, muštuluk has found its place on various social networks; via local electronicmedia, muštuluk is sought through greetings and congratulations; doctors who lead birthing processes take muštuluk from husbands; students’ services, andevenprofessors themselves, informtheparentsof students about examresults; the fathersof new-bornshave their shirts ripped; heads are shaved for muštuluk…
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